Ah, Day 11 of the 19 Day Blogging-Spree for Top Military Mom. Go vote. DO it. Why? All the cool people are!… No, but seriously. >>>>>>>>>>>>
2 months down.
Jason’s been gone two months. Summer is here, and without needing to knock on wood, I’m feeling like we’re actually making it.
Sure, the kids are nuts, and my voice gets raised a lot more than I want it to, but they’re all alive, and… happy? Things are still crazy. I’m still struggling to find a rhythm, a schedule to tackle everything that has to get done between work, the kids, the house, volunteering… but that’s just normal life, isn’t it? It helps that we’re keeping busy.
The last day of school, I marked the kids’ heights on the Harry Potter Closet (yes, we actually call the closet under the stairs that) door. The kids like to compete to see who’s growing the fastest, and this time with 2.5 inches this school year, Chase is the winner. But it’s the other numbers that got me. Between our four boys, they’ve grown 2 inches in the last two months that Jason has been gone.
It was like someone smacked me with the tangible proof of his absence. Yes, I know that the kids grow while he’s gone, but we’d never marked a door before. That started when we bought this house nearly two years ago. We have this door, this chart that I love… and kind of hate right now. It’s been the first thing that’s about brought me to my knees since he left, watching them grow and change, knowing that Jason’s missing it.
In past deployments, my goal was always to just survive it, to push through with the kiddos the best I could, and I knew that when Jason came home, everything would be okay. I know better now. Last deployment, I watched the kids change, react to my mood, struggle with their own bouts of missing Jason. This time when he came home, there wasn’t enough time to “fix” them, not with how often he was gone. This deployment has been harder on them than ones past, because he wasn’t really able to be here when he was home. So instead of focusing on passing the days, keeping the house perfect, tackling my to-dos, I’m trying to focus on just making the kids happy. They didn’t ask for this life, it was simply dealt to them, and as their mom, it’s my job to make it as easy on them as possible.
No, this does not mean skipping chores.
It’s just changing my priorities, and it’s been extraordinarily worthwhile. Every smile is, and every inch gained, or size outgrown. I can’t triage and wish away a year of their lives, so I won’t.
We’re two months down, and we’re okay.
Here’s to hoping it stays that way tomorrow.
We’re two months down, and what have we missed?
*Aaron’s graduation from Elementary School
*Chase’s graduation from kindergarten
*One loose tooth
*Two inches grown
*Straight A’s on little report cards
*One more request for my manuscript
*Completion of my 2nd novel
*Hugs. Kisses. Rinse. Repeat.
2 months down, and too freaking many to go.