Beautiful Brody

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To my beautiful Brody,

Today is your first birthday. Wow. Really, I would love for someone to explain how this year just slipped by. If I close my eyes, I can still smell your receiving blankets in our hospital room, I can still feel your little hand clasping mine as you spent your first night in the warmer. It’s so ironic to me now that you had such trouble maintaining your body temp, because you have the warmest heart of any child we’ve ever had.
But really, a year ago I was marveling at your red hair and your perfect, tiny features, and today I’m marveling at your red hair as you feed the dog your lunch, laughing hysterically. Never in my life have I seen a baby take such joy in his every day surroundings. But you don’t just take joy, you bring it to everyone who sees you. You have the sweetest smile, and the calmest, most peaceful eyes. Every time you lay your little head on my shoulder a little bit of that peace seeps into me, and I say a little prayer of thanks that God sent you to me.

I won’t lie to you. There are mean people who tell me they’re sorry you’re my fourth boy. I want you to know that they will probably always say this to me as you grow to boyhood. But you know what? I’m not sorry you’re my fourth boy. I told you when you were in my belly, before we knew you were a boy and I’ll tell you now, you are MY boy, and I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else. Ever. You are the product of God simply knowing not just what I wanted, but what I needed. I needed you. This house and this family desperately needed you and your smile, your ability to vanquish dark clouds with your giggle. You were always meant for this family. Besides, tell the mean people that you’d look funny in a dress.

Brody, I have so many dreams for you. I hope that through life you keep that sweet peace about you. I pray that you find your way in this house full of men, and that you take advantage of the protection that 3 older brothers will provide for you. Never doubt their love, they all compete for the top place in your heart every day. Besides, eventually, you’ll grow on Chase… I hope that you take all the advantages you’ve been given and you run with them to the stars. Baby, you are so blessed and you have the rare ability in this world to be limited only by your own ambition. I hope that you grow with patience and love for us as your parents. We’re soooo not perfect, but we love you so much that it fills my heart and sometimes leaks out of my eyes as I rock you. If I hold you too tight, please forgive me. You will always be my baby.

When you were in my belly, I sang to you, and I sing you the same song every night. It just fits you. So remember, “when you cross the street, take my hand. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.” Thank you for being the best surprise I’ve ever gotten. Happy First Birthday, Brodykins.

love, mommy.

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