Yes, I am the mother of four little boys, and the wife to another. I live my life surrounded by men, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This doesn’t mean I know nothing about girls. In fact, it is quite the opposite. For most of my life, in my house it was only my sister, my mother, my father and myself. My poor dad was surrounded by girls. Heck, even the dog was a girl. I suppose that my boy-favored household might be my dad’s small piece of heaven. After all, when Aaron was born, he held my small first-born in his arms and quite seriously told me that Aaron was perfect, but I owed him 4 more. Thanks, Dad.
Anyhow, I have noticed as I raise my little men, that after people get over the shocked looks and tell me that I “have my hands full,” they then tell me how lucky I am to have boys and not girls. They tell me that boys are just so much “easier.” The people who tell me this obviously do not have boys. Not that I believe girls are easier. Instead, I say that each child is unique and presents his or her own challenges. Children are easy or difficult based on who they are, not what anatomy they posses.
That being said, there are just certain little things that the mothers of boys get to hear or experience.
1. This morning, as my 5 year old, Aidan asked for help buttoning his jeans, I asked him what he planned to do at school when he needed to potty. He blinked those blue eyes up at me and replied, “Mom, I’ll just whip my pee pee out.” I thought my husband was going to spit his soda from his nose.
2. Boys, not matter how many times you tell them they’re not, will always find bodily functions hilarious. This includes congratulating the baby on a huge dinner-time belch, or saying that a particular moment of passing gas was their favorite moment of the day.
3. Boys go through just as many outfits in a day as girls do. This is not because they are fashion forward, but rather because the garden hose got them (as a sworn accident… right.), they “slipped” with one another into a gigantic mud puddle, they thought using one another for mud-ball target practice was a good idea… well, you get the idea, and I get the laundry.
4. From an early age, boys know that size might matter. They compare in the bath tub, in the bath room, heck, in the living room if the mood strikes them. Modesty must be a learned art, I guess.
5. Mothers of little boys find themselves surrounded by light sabers, transformers, and can actually tell you who is an autobot and who is a decepticon. We’re good like that. We have tried to explain that Anakin didn’t mean to go bad, sometimes things just happen. We can tell the difference between pokemon and bakugan, and can honestly pick stormshadow and snake-eyes out of a crowd. Let’s just say that just because you’re dressed in white doesn’t mean you’re the good guy.
6. Mothers of boys have a special bond. We see one another in the mall, or at Walmart, and give each other the “nod” as we pass, trying to keep their small spirits controlled within their manners for just those few moments that we need to shop. That’s because we feel like we’re on the same side. We’re all explorers into a world that we used to know nothing about. And there is one thing that bonds us: though we might silently long for tiny dresses and hair bows, there’s not a chance we’d trade any of our dirty-fingernail-having heathens for anything or anyone else.
I will say though, for all of their moments, when little boys burst through the doors with handfuls of root-pulled dandelions, I know that precious bouquet is all for me. Yeah, boys rule.