So, this week I have had 3 of my four boys sick with something or another. Yep, 3. As I was packing the diaper bag for our lovely trip to the pediatrician’s office, I noticed some uncanny similarities to how the guys prep for deployment.
1. Food must be taken to feed the troops and the higher the calories, the better. Nothing is worse than hungry men of any age.
2. Preparations begin early so that when troop movement commences, there are no misplaced uniform parts (i.e. hats, gloves and shoes).
3. The diaper bag is packed as full as it can be (brings back memories of 150 pound guys with 100 pound rucksacks)
4. Entertainment must be provided for the children. Any good general knows that the troops should never be allowed alone to their own devices for long, or madness ensues. Structure, structure, structure!
5. Rollcall is necessary and must be performed often to make sure that one hasn’t gone awol (aka hiding behind the t.v. armoir of the reception area).
6. Beware of fraternizing with the enemy. Yes, I do see your unruly, unbehaved, rude little children, and no, mine won’t be picking up on any of their bad habits. You just round up your own little hitting heathens and leave mine alone.
7. Hurry up and wait! By God, don’t be late for the appointment, but then don’t be angry when they have you sitting there waiting for some form of action for an incomprehensible amount of time.
8. You can’t let your temper get the best of you. Just because you feel like screaming doesn’t mean you can, all it does is draw unneeded attention and could potentially start a foreign conflict.
9. Never let them forget who the ranking officer is or you could end up with a mutiny. This is usually solved with the lifting of one eyebrow in the classic “mommy” look. Little boys cringe in terror.
So. those are just my observations… Here we go for the start of another round.